Lately I've been realizing some of my own underlying prejudices that I wasn't acutely aware of and now that I am, I feel the need to reevaluate some of my thinking. I've always considered myself a somewhat open-minded person... or at least I am willing to try and see things from another perspective. However, sometimes I am ashamed at the thoughts that pop into my head or the words that come out of my mouth. Where do these things come from and how do I change this about myself? So, part of this realization process means that I need to write these things out, and see where that takes me. You may or may NOT want to go along for the ride.
First of all, I was part of a conversation recently where the person said something like, "Well all those men in that family just found themselves a wealthy woman and haven't worked a day in their lives." She kinda trailed off, and I said something that I felt like she was implying, "So maybe it's a cultural thing." My husband across the room rolled his eyes and called me on it later. And he's right... laziness is NOT cultural (and by culture, I essentially mean race). There are plenty of lazy and hard-working people alike from all different backgrounds, and it is certainly not fair for me (even in just assuming that's what the other person was talking about) to label entire groups of people this way!
So, a couple of week ago, I got a tattoo. And lots of completely
normal people have them. From what I gather, this is somewhat of a paradigm shift from when our parents were young, and my generation has embraced it more as an art form. However, some of my own assumptions about people who get tattoos still lingered. For some reason I thought a lot of people got them when they were drunk... as a heat-of-the-moment sort of thing. Come to find out, most tattoo parlors require appointments, and it is technically illegal to tattoo a person who has had a drink (not even necessarily drunk). Also, the tattoo artist said something like, "The hardest skin to tattoo is that thick, tanned biker skin." I said, "And those are the folks wanting the tattoos, right?" She said, "No, my most common clientele are women between ages 18 and 35." Well, whaddya know?
I recently had a dream where Ross the Intern (a gay guy from a Tonight Show skit which I haven't seen in years) was our pediatrician. I was arguing with him about scheduling an appointment, and the annoying high-pitch voice was enough to make this a nightmare. I told John about it the next morning and added, "Plus, I don't think I want a gay guy treating our boys." Um... why not? Why would a person's sexual preference make them any less capable as a doctor? Our pediatrician is heterosexual, has a wife, and therefore obviously prefers females, but I wouldn't think twice about him treating my daughter. I myself saw male OBGYNs, all of whom were married, and there was NOTHING sexual about being cared for by those doctors. So how would having a gay doctor be different, really?
Last week I was trying to schedule a meetup with another mom at a movie theater. A few different options were mentioned (this was being "discussed" on facebook), and I voted for a certain location because that other one was in a "bad part of town." Another person commented, "Just because an area is older and lower income, doesn't mean you should be fearful." Well, honestly, I wasn't
afraid of going there, I was mainly concerned about cleanliness... I have a toddler who likes to wander around and pick things up off the floor which then usually end up in his mouth. (By the way, these are "free family movies" designed for moms like me to do silly things like take babies to them.) But why would I assume that a theater in an "older, lower income" part of town would be dirty? And maybe part of me IS fearful, but not really in a sensible way where I am looking out for my kids, but in a prejudiced way... because we live in a bubble and mix with only those who are
like us.
So, wow... those are my thoughts. Not really sure what to do with them now that they're out there for all to see, but just some personal rethinking is in order, I suppose. And a good dose of humility. The root of my problem here is that I probably think too much of myself.